Top Ten Reasons to Try Polka Therapy
  1. It’s impossible to frown and polka at the same time.
  2. There’s no co-payment.
  3. It’s cheaper than Prozac.
  4. There is no 12-step program involved.
  5. Pre-existing conditions aren’t a problem.
  6. You’ll be embracing your heritage. (All cultures must have polkas in their past—even if they deny it!)
  7. You’ll be on the cutting edge of cool. The polka has been around so long that it’s about to become new again. Young people are bound to “discover” it soon.
  8. Everything sounds upbeat in polka time—even if you’re singing about global warming or sinus infections.
  9. Beautiful people like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie love to polka. (Okay, we’re lying about that one. Maybe they do. Or maybe they will soon...)
  10. If you polka, you’ll be beautiful, too. (Okay, we’re lying about that one, too. But it’s a nice sentiment!)
Top Ten Signs that you are Stressed Enough to Need Polka Therapy:
  1. You’ve thought about serving Cheerios for supper, instead of cooking.
  2. You’ve actually served Cheerios for supper instead of cooking.
  3. You’ve thought of hiring a double to attend some of your children’s countless soccer matches and band performances.
  4. You’ve never seen the last 15 minutes of any episode of “Lost,” “Dancing with the Stars,” or “Grey’s Anatomy” because you always fall asleep. (And you haven’t been awake for the beginning of “Saturday Night Live” in the last ten years.)
  5. You’ve seriously considered just pretending you never got the message to call the principal of your child’s school.
  6. You ran out of vacuum cleaner bags three months ago. Who knew?
  7. You’ve had second thoughts about the value of the family dog, who has a pesky need for being walked and fed.
  8. You’ve come a little too close to letting your boss see you roll your eyes when he says
    something stupid.
  9. You long ago stopped feeling guilty about using TV as a babysitter every once in a while.
  10. You buy “Tension Tamer” tea in bulk.